I am possibly honest to a fault at times

I am not sure if others take issue with this as well, but I find it aggravating when someone proclaims:
“oh, you are being so good!”

when I order something healthy or without grains…I do not think that my food choices are “virtuous” it is just about health.

When we equate virtue or vice with food we attach emotions to it, and that can lead you down the path to an eating disorder.

I really appreciate your honesty.

Anyway, I have lost over 120lbs in the past 2 years following a modified version of a nutritional plan I read about in the book “Eat to Live”. It is extremely low fat though, and so I modified it by adding in virgin coconut oil…anyway…I find it very difficult to consume foods not in my “nutritional plan” because I feel guilty and think I will put ALL the weight back on. I know logically that one meal, or even a 2 week vacation from my “plan” will not put 120lbs back on, but it is hard to “let” myself stray. I want to believe that I can do things in moderation, but it is difficult to get there…so I have become a food elitist. I am well aware that it is rude, but I honestly do not know how to stop myself. I am working on it though.

I have only just started reading your blog, but thus far I am a fan. I do not believe that grains are inherently bad, but I do believe the less processed the better, and that moderation is key. Right now I do not even consume 1 serving of grains a day, but once I hit my “goal size” (which is to say where I feel comfortable) I will add grains back in moderation, and cut back if I feel that I have started to put on fat.

anyway, I am going to continue to read your blog, I hope you can teach me to be less stringent so I can enjoy eating with friends again. I have sadly become a stick in the mud!!

Sarena and Anna, there are certainly situations and health histories that give a darn good reason for rejecting certain foods. But as you’ve both shown (and as I tried to show in my post), you can reject most anything without coming across as “I’m too good for that,” which it sounds like you both do. It’s more the attitude than the actual eating of the food.

Scott, just keep plugging away. Sounds like you’re on the right track and change doesn’t have to happen overnight.

I tend to gauge the receptiveness of my audience. For instance, dinner at my friend’s on Monday entailed a discussion into properly raised meats and raw milk (even though they drink skim). They are open-minded enough and interested enough in health to want to know more. And they brought it up and kept asking questions.

What I really wanted to get across is both accepting and rejecting food with grace and humility rather than an attitude. I typically don’t eat the snacks when watching a game at a friend’s house because it’s typically a bag of chips or something else requiring no investment of time. I have a harder time when someone (like mom or a friend) cooks dinner for me. But we also shouldn’t feel obligated to sabotage our health to please others, like gorging on pasta, bread, and ice cream.

Cheers
Scott

That said, I try to handle it much like you do, though I am more upfront about why I have to decline on the sugary or starchy foods. If an explanation of why I’m not having something seems needed, I try to stick to a simple, one sentence explanation that I avoid concentrated sugars/starches a restricted because of a pre-diabetic blood sugar issue, prefaced by a compliment on how nice it looks or smells, etc. Often nothing needs to be said, though. I generally don’t say anything about the source of the meat, dairy, etc., since like you say, it isn’t a big deal in the larger scheme of things.

But if I do mention the carb restriction, that often opens up a discussion about food in general, and sometimes my alternatives to factory farmed foods do enter into a conversation. Generally, most of my friends are good cooks and while they don’t choose everything as I do, they like to talk about food. And friends I dine with generally already know not to pass the bread to me :-).

Visiting relatives in the Midwest is always the most challenging for me, diet-wise and conversation-wise. A couple years ago I learned I have an uncle and cousin (my age) now diagnosed with T2 diabetes, who were told by their health care professional to eat lots of complex carbohydrates and restrict fat and protein (actually, these family gatherings are the best way to learn about what conditions are running in the family, which is important). So much for no family history of diabetes - we are developing it at the same time, I guess. It’s much harder to stay quiet in these situations and I often don’t stay completely silent, especially on the sugar/starch/diabetes issues. At those large, infrequent family gatherings that usually last a long weekend, usually little of the food is really home-prepared (banquet sized frozen lasagna trays from the supermarket, canned “baked” beans with lots of extra brown sugar added at home, etc.). Most of them are empty-nesters now who prefer not to cook. It’s a bit of a minefield for a few days among all my relatives (most of whom don’t fit the stereotypical overweight Midwesterners, but do take statins, avoid fat because it causes gall bladder attacks from years of low fat eating, and have pantries full of AHA approved “heart healthy” processed grain products). There is so little to forage from when I stay with relatives that I now stop at TJs for a bag of staple items on the way from the airport to make sure I’ll have something to eat, because they load sugar into everything, even the meat sauces. And the vegetable tray or salads are too skimpy to rely on those. I fall back on making sure I making something “for my contribution to the meal” without labeling it LC, etc. My son gorges himself on Captain Crunch cereal just like I did when I visited my grandmother’s house, then complains it makes him feel awful, but I keep my mouth shut about that and suggest oatmeal to him (of course, they have instant only). If I just went along and ate what was there, I would run diabetic-level blood glucose levels the whole time, and I won’t do that. I don’t say anything against the food, and I’ll even take small tastes of things I ordinarily wouldn’t eat (like sugary BBQ pulled beef) to be polite and fit in, but I don’t make a pretense that I can eat all that sugary-starchy stuff without consequence, either. I don’t know know if showing up with some of my own provisions is offensive to my relatives, but I don’t expect them to cater to my needs, either. And I would never get into paleo/pasture/factory farm issues with them for all sorts of reasons. I did have an interesting conversation about raw dairy with an uncle though, who would never drink raw milk now, though he grew up on raw milk and a dairy farm. Go figure.

BTW, I just read the pdf from the Fitness Spotlight. You and Mike have done a great job! I hope the PDF gets some wide exposure!

You’re right about logic. That’s the screen that we should all be viewing our information through, but unfortunately emotion tends to drive the human beast far more often.

Cheers
Scott