Am I A Food Elitist? Are You?

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A few weeks back, a friend told me that his better half called me a “Food Elitist”. Now, you may be thinking “What sort of awful transgression could you have committed?” Or you may be thinking “Well, you are.” Or you may not be thinking at all, a state that I often find myself in.
It all started when this friend was asking me some things about improving his diet. And I had the audacity to propose drinking organic, hormone-free milk (since raw is so hard to get here). We also discussed the differences between grass-fed meats and conventionally-raised meats. Then I had even more gall to imply that not all meats are created equal, not all apples are the same, and some foods are, in fact, better for you than other foods.
I can only come up with two possible interpretations of the phrase “food elitist”.
- One who looks down on those that choose not to eat like him/her, is overly concerned with the source of his/her food, and refuses food that doesn’t “fit”
- One who strives for quality in his/her eating
So starting with the first interpretation…that’s pretty far from being me. I respect that people have different priorities in life and choose to invest different amounts of time and money into their nutrition. I don’t have to understand how someone can choose Burger King over spending 20 minutes in their own kitchen to be perfectly okay with them making that decision for themselves. I’m pretty far from turning down perfectly good food, even when it doesn’t fit with what I would typically eat. I don’t even concern myself with whether people are feeding me pastured, grass-fed, organic, blah blah blah meats and produce, nor do I preach to them the benefits of such. I don’t ask how the food was prepared (margarine, butter, sugar, etc) because I understand that a one-off meal is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Even a meal of donuts, potato chips, and Pepsi is fairly negligible as long as its not a common occurrence.
A couple of examples…Saturday, I went to a friend’s cookout and ate their grain-fed hamburgers, a handful of tortilla chips, some potatoes with cheese, and a few other less than healthful items. I didn’t ask them what the source of their meat was, nor did I care. Last night, I had dinner with a good friend and his fiancee. She made rice and naan to go with the (excellent) chicken curry. Did I make a comment like “well, I don’t typically eat grains” or did I just eat it and rave about the time and excellence she put into the meal (which was in fact true…one of the best home-cooked meals I’ve had)? The correct answer is “b”. You see, the things you say can hold a good deal of meaning, even if you capitulate and eat the “offending food”. Even the way you turn things down says a good deal.
The second interpretation is the one that I will give a hearty “Hell yeah” to if it’s used in reference to me. I do strive for quality in my food. At home, I stick to pastured poultry, grass-fed meats, mostly local vegetables, and quality oils. When I eat out, I typically go for foods that fit with my priority of health. It’s entirely possible to reject the bread basket without being elitist and holier-than-thou.
What’s the difference in those two interpretations? The first person alienates others and lets his food ideals override his ability to enjoy the company of others and the offerings of others. The second person strives for quality in his eating, but is willing to loosen the reins a bit when outside of his own kitchen. The first person is too concerned with teaching others why they should choose his way to ever respect their different priorities. The second realizes that priorities differ and each person is making an unconscious cost-benefit analysis in their decisions and keeps his opinions to himself until they are asked for.
So am I a “food elitist”? That depends on what you mean. If you mean someone that alienates others, is always focusing on why this food and that food aren’t good enough to enter his body, and makes life difficult on anyone wanting to share food with him, then no, that’s most certainly not me. If you mean someone that understands healthful foods and aims to consume them 90% of the time, willingly discusses his choices with others when they show interest (and keeps his mouth shut otherwise), and puts the social aspect on as high of a plane as the food aspect when being communal, then yes, that’s me. In the end, food is one of the biggest influences on your health, so what better thing is there to be elitist about? Just remember that you can be a “food elitist” without being a pain-in-the-a$$ to those around you.
What about you? Where do you fall on the “food elitism” scale?
Other reading:
Kelly the Kitchen Kop declares “I’m really not a food snob!”
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Lemur on 20 May 2008 at 5:12 pm #
Thank you, Scott. You are an example for us all.
I have struggled with trying to stay quiet when food is the subject (or health in general) because most people don’t want to hear that they’re wrong, even if you only intend to help them. So I mostly just go “mmm hmm” and nod. I have found that when I do argue (and I mean in a pleasant, kind way) I end up hearing, “Well you can’t believe anything you read, they’re always changing what’s good and bad. First something’s bad for you, then it’s good for you, then it’s bad again.”
While it’s true that I did read my information, I didn’t get it from the typical media, and I have the intelligence to recognize logic when I see it. The EF/Paleo/Whateveryoucallit way *makes sense*. Logic is my only setting, which makes dealing with people believe what the media says a bit exasperating.
But I try to keep my mouth shut, knowing that I can only control myself. Hopefully the regular media will manage to get some good info out eventually, although considering the money tied up in lying to everyone, I’m not holding my breath.
Scott Kustes on 21 May 2008 at 9:47 am #
Lemur,
I usually stay quiet unless my opinion is specifically asked for. Most people don’t see me opening my mouth as advice but as an attack. Nutrition is up there with religion and politics of things that people get very passionate about, myself included. Course, there are also the people that think it’s an attack on them if you turn down the bread at the dinner table. Those people have issues of security in themselves though.
You’re right about logic. That’s the screen that we should all be viewing our information through, but unfortunately emotion tends to drive the human beast far more often.
Cheers
Scott
DaveC - DaveGetsFit on 21 May 2008 at 10:39 am #
I really liked the part about showing appreciation for the effort of your friend’s fiancee. I’m going to have a situation coming up in a month or so where I know someone is going to present me with some very non-paleo food (it’s a long story), and I was planning on saying no thanks! But this is going to be a very similar situation and your post has me thinking I need to change my plan. So 70 days of “no cheating” ain’t quite as good as 90 days, but that’s ok!
BTW, I just read the pdf from the Fitness Spotlight. You and Mike have done a great job! I hope the PDF gets some wide exposure!
sarena on 21 May 2008 at 10:44 am #
Generally I do restrict myself to other’s cooking, food at the expense of being a food elitist. Am I wrong? Perhaps! But then again I once had diabetes and cancer so i have been eating differently for so many years (when I was formerly obese) that most that know me are accustomed to my quirkiness!!
WHat I’ve been reading this week…. « Evolved Living on 21 May 2008 at 11:15 am #
[...] Am I a Food Elitist? are you? [...]
Anna on 21 May 2008 at 12:55 pm #
Isn’t it ironic that people can proudly proclaim themselves “junkfood junkies” but those who hold to higher foods standards are called “elitist”, in the negative sense of the word? Elite is one of those double-bladed words.
That said, I try to handle it much like you do, though I am more upfront about why I have to decline on the sugary or starchy foods. If an explanation of why I’m not having something seems needed, I try to stick to a simple, one sentence explanation that I avoid concentrated sugars/starches a restricted because of a pre-diabetic blood sugar issue, prefaced by a compliment on how nice it looks or smells, etc. Often nothing needs to be said, though. I generally don’t say anything about the source of the meat, dairy, etc., since like you say, it isn’t a big deal in the larger scheme of things.
But if I do mention the carb restriction, that often opens up a discussion about food in general, and sometimes my alternatives to factory farmed foods do enter into a conversation. Generally, most of my friends are good cooks and while they don’t choose everything as I do, they like to talk about food. And friends I dine with generally already know not to pass the bread to me :-).
Visiting relatives in the Midwest is always the most challenging for me, diet-wise and conversation-wise. A couple years ago I learned I have an uncle and cousin (my age) now diagnosed with T2 diabetes, who were told by their health care professional to eat lots of complex carbohydrates and restrict fat and protein (actually, these family gatherings are the best way to learn about what conditions are running in the family, which is important). So much for no family history of diabetes - we are developing it at the same time, I guess. It’s much harder to stay quiet in these situations and I often don’t stay completely silent, especially on the sugar/starch/diabetes issues. At those large, infrequent family gatherings that usually last a long weekend, usually little of the food is really home-prepared (banquet sized frozen lasagna trays from the supermarket, canned “baked” beans with lots of extra brown sugar added at home, etc.). Most of them are empty-nesters now who prefer not to cook. It’s a bit of a minefield for a few days among all my relatives (most of whom don’t fit the stereotypical overweight Midwesterners, but do take statins, avoid fat because it causes gall bladder attacks from years of low fat eating, and have pantries full of AHA approved “heart healthy” processed grain products). There is so little to forage from when I stay with relatives that I now stop at TJs for a bag of staple items on the way from the airport to make sure I’ll have something to eat, because they load sugar into everything, even the meat sauces. And the vegetable tray or salads are too skimpy to rely on those. I fall back on making sure I making something “for my contribution to the meal” without labeling it LC, etc. My son gorges himself on Captain Crunch cereal just like I did when I visited my grandmother’s house, then complains it makes him feel awful, but I keep my mouth shut about that and suggest oatmeal to him (of course, they have instant only). If I just went along and ate what was there, I would run diabetic-level blood glucose levels the whole time, and I won’t do that. I don’t say anything against the food, and I’ll even take small tastes of things I ordinarily wouldn’t eat (like sugary BBQ pulled beef) to be polite and fit in, but I don’t make a pretense that I can eat all that sugary-starchy stuff without consequence, either. I don’t know know if showing up with some of my own provisions is offensive to my relatives, but I don’t expect them to cater to my needs, either. And I would never get into paleo/pasture/factory farm issues with them for all sorts of reasons. I did have an interesting conversation about raw dairy with an uncle though, who would never drink raw milk now, though he grew up on raw milk and a dairy farm. Go figure.
ScottH on 21 May 2008 at 4:20 pm #
Great post as usual, Scott! You are an example to us all. Its very difficult to restrain myself sometimes around others, and I certainly would never reject a home-cooked meal off-handedly. I find the greatest difficulty to be with my own family. I’m the head cook, so they have gradually been acclimated to paleo-based meals, but they all get their carbs in at snack times. I’ve finally realized that they do understand my point of view and I refrain from lecturing. I fully accept that I set the stage due to 15-20 years of listening to the “authoritative” dietary recommendations, and my carb-loving wife and kids were conditioned by many years consumption of my home-baked bread, pasta, and other baked goods. I’m patient and just hope that they’ll gradually see the light.
Scott Kustes on 21 May 2008 at 7:47 pm #
Dave, part of accepting or rejecting also depends on the type of food fest it is. A big party with a buffet, you can avoid most anything cause most people aren’t watching what you take. An intimate gathering of 4 or 5 requires more tact. And thanks for the kudos on the FS report.
Sarena and Anna, there are certainly situations and health histories that give a darn good reason for rejecting certain foods. But as you’ve both shown (and as I tried to show in my post), you can reject most anything without coming across as “I’m too good for that,” which it sounds like you both do. It’s more the attitude than the actual eating of the food.
Scott, just keep plugging away. Sounds like you’re on the right track and change doesn’t have to happen overnight.
I tend to gauge the receptiveness of my audience. For instance, dinner at my friend’s on Monday entailed a discussion into properly raised meats and raw milk (even though they drink skim). They are open-minded enough and interested enough in health to want to know more. And they brought it up and kept asking questions.
What I really wanted to get across is both accepting and rejecting food with grace and humility rather than an attitude. I typically don’t eat the snacks when watching a game at a friend’s house because it’s typically a bag of chips or something else requiring no investment of time. I have a harder time when someone (like mom or a friend) cooks dinner for me. But we also shouldn’t feel obligated to sabotage our health to please others, like gorging on pasta, bread, and ice cream.
Cheers
Scott
Marissa on 27 May 2008 at 3:21 pm #
I am the bad kind of elitist…and I don’t want to be. Honestly I think it comes from a new eating disorder called “orthorexia”…which is basically a disorder where people feel that they must eat “healthy” food to keep themselves “pure”, and any morsel that is not “healthy” in their mind becomes an evil and contaminates their bodies…sort of an OCD related thing.
Anyway, I have lost over 120lbs in the past 2 years following a modified version of a nutritional plan I read about in the book “Eat to Live”. It is extremely low fat though, and so I modified it by adding in virgin coconut oil…anyway…I find it very difficult to consume foods not in my “nutritional plan” because I feel guilty and think I will put ALL the weight back on. I know logically that one meal, or even a 2 week vacation from my “plan” will not put 120lbs back on, but it is hard to “let” myself stray. I want to believe that I can do things in moderation, but it is difficult to get there…so I have become a food elitist. I am well aware that it is rude, but I honestly do not know how to stop myself. I am working on it though.
I have only just started reading your blog, but thus far I am a fan. I do not believe that grains are inherently bad, but I do believe the less processed the better, and that moderation is key. Right now I do not even consume 1 serving of grains a day, but once I hit my “goal size” (which is to say where I feel comfortable) I will add grains back in moderation, and cut back if I feel that I have started to put on fat.
anyway, I am going to continue to read your blog, I hope you can teach me to be less stringent so I can enjoy eating with friends again. I have sadly become a stick in the mud!!
Anna on 27 May 2008 at 5:39 pm #
Marissa,
I really appreciate your honesty.
Marissa on 28 May 2008 at 2:32 pm #
Anna, thank you
I am possibly honest to a fault at times
I am not sure if others take issue with this as well, but I find it aggravating when someone proclaims:
“oh, you are being so good!”
when I order something healthy or without grains…I do not think that my food choices are “virtuous” it is just about health.
When we equate virtue or vice with food we attach emotions to it, and that can lead you down the path to an eating disorder.